THE SIGNS DOING AN ASSIGNMENT THAT'S DUE THE NEXT DAY

Aries: Screaming, throwing books everywhere, ingesting inhuman amounts of coffee, slamming doors, ripping papers, tossing their phone in the toilet.

Taurus: Can't start until they're had a snack, nap, shower, break, and then they sit down. And they don't stand up until they are done.

Gemini: Hysterical laughter, is in denial, writes the most epic bullshit ever, has a meltdown at 3 am, suffers from loss of identity and motivation.

Cancer: Intense crying on their laptop keyboard, the laptop malfunction, electrocutes them, and all of their work has been erased off the face of the work. Turns in doctor's note.

Leo: Lies to themselves, says they have plenty of time. Says they'll start at 7, and when they check the time, its 7:03. Now they have to wait until 8. Damn it.

Virgo: Begins writing a bunch of drafts, is never satisfied, pulls an all-nighter, has three panic attacks, but turns in a pretty decent assignment.

Libra: Instead of starting, does elaborate research on how to fake sick, comes up with a million excuses, and practices executing them in the mirror.

Scorpio: Hates themselves extensively, cries through half of the paper, uses caps locks aggressively, blogs about how much they hate themselves and their life.

Sagittarius: Cannot seem to start, calls all of their friends and ends up paying someone to do the assignment for them. Plan flops miserably, skips school.

Capricorn: Loathes themselves, cries in the shower, then gets down to business. Thinks they'll fail, gets an A. We hate them.

Aquarius: Actually performs best under pressure. Has a game plan, perfectly executes it, goes to sleep at 1:30 a.m. Can't sleep because they're too wired.

Pisces: Has three months to do the assignment, spends the day before coming up with excuses why they shouldn't do it, skips school.